![]() ![]() It helps to learn more about your partner’s interests, desires, concerns, and even their favorite hobbies. ![]() You can even purchase love map cards and play something similar to the Newlywed Game. Leave them a loving note in their pocket or make their favorite meal for dinner.īuild out your “love map.” This is a term that couple’s therapists use to describe making space in your brain for your partners by really getting to know them. So, reciprocate those nice things by engaging in kind gestures or acts of caring for your partner in return. And expressing gratitude can be contagious! ![]() This makes partners feel appreciated and valued, and it provides a roadmap to know how we can keep pleasing each other. It forces us to pay attention to the things our partner is doing that we like in order to actively thank them. When your partner engages in an act or gesture you appreciate, research shows it’s also extremely important to express that appreciation to your partner.Įxpressing gratitude is critical. People like to know that they are valued and someone is making an effort for them. The other important thing to note about acts of kindness, like gifts but from a broader perspective, is it’s important that your partner is able to perceive it as an act of kindness or as something that betters the relationship.įor example, it’s more important for your relationship satisfaction that your partner perceives or notices that you did the dishes than it is that you actually did the dishes. Getting your partner something is a great idea, but similarly to how partners respond to dates, it should be something that is practical, will they enjoy it or make their life better. Gifts can certainly be challenging as most people have cost and time restrictions. That’s why communication and awareness of our partners is important. But if you make your partner uncomfortable, they might not have a good time, which could negatively affect your relationship. The reason exciting and enjoyable experiences are beneficial is because they allow your partner to associate a particular feeling with you, usually in these cases, a positive one. It’s ok to push the boundaries a bit to make things novel and exciting, depending on the comfort you have with each other.Īnything that is novel, creative, spontaneous and makes people feel excited about the relationship is going to be helpful. However, you want to make sure these romantic gestures are within your partner’s comfort zone. Take the opportunity to give your partner something they’ve been needing. Rituals or traditions like anniversaries and Valentine’s Day can be meaningful for partners, so if it is, use it as an excuse to go on that big date you’ve been wanting to go on. Once you know your partner and their comfort zone, planning events or holidays becomes easier. Do something that makes both of you laugh and enjoy each other’s company. The more ridiculous the date, the better in my opinion. The partners who engaged in this silly activity reported greater relationship satisfaction than those randomly assigned to engage in a more mundane activity. “Couples who play together, stay together!”Ī famous research study had romantic partners come into a lab where researchers tied them together, had the partners get on their hands and knees, and push a foam object across the room. When we engage in playful, novel, or exciting activities it gives us an opportunity to bond and attribute the joyful experience to each other. We should connect and enjoy each other regularly. So celebrating our relationships should not just be a once a year event. While an anniversary or Valentine’s Day may be a good excuse to show affection for your loved one, partners who have regular time set aside to connect and engage in fun activities or “date nights” together such as dancing, attending concerts, hiking, or biking, report more love and satisfaction than those who don’t. It’s important to celebrate your relationship continuously, not just during holidays. Couples can come up with a few daily rituals that give both people in the relationship joy. The true key to a successful Valentine’s Day-and a relationship as a whole-is not the big grand gestures, but the relationship building and maintenance on a day-to-day basis.
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